Friday, August 7, 2009

My Tubing Adventure


This past weekend I had somewhat of a grand adventure. I went tubing down the Guadalupe River.
We (my boyfriend Barry and I) left in my mom's tiny blue Hyundai Accent Thursday (7/30/09) night. The car was packed with way more items than we would ever need, but that didn't stop the gas mileage! We arrived at the Lazy L&L Campgrounds around 9:00 pm after a lengthy excursion to the Buc-cee's on I-10. The L&L is a nice campground with tent campsites along the river and RV sites further away. They are also located right next to a little spot called 'The Devil's Playground', which is a small rapids part of the river.


So, we arrived and met with Barry's relatives- who had an RV (Thank God! It was so hot). As we are all laying down to sleep, Billy (Gibson) & Michael (Pork Chop) are boasting about who will get up the earliest and I was like ME! Of course, they didn't believe me, but who was up as soon as the sun rose? That's right... Moi! So, despite a lot of banging around on my part, nobody woke up and I was forced to take my creative little butt down to the river for a photo shoot (Yay!).
The water was incredibly cold and although it was low, the deep parts it went up to mid thigh. Just enough to get me to shiver. I took numerous photos of the rapids. Hopefully some of them are good. I was kind of worried about getting the camera wet. I looked back at how I got into the river and I was appalled. This whole time I had managed to get over my "Final Destination" outlook on life and just have fun, without worrying that somehow... some way... I was going to slip and crack my skull on something and then somehow Sasquatch would find me and make me his bitch. But, all of a sudden I realized that I have, yet again, put myself into a precarious situation which could result in my ultimate doom- I was alone. In a river. In an area surrounded by drunks and hillbillies. To top it all off, my exit point was a Cypress tree that had many areas for sleeping water moccasins to lay and ambush me... AND that is exactly where my flip flops were... taunting me. Good Plan Maria! Way to think it through.



In the end, of course,it was just me over thinking things. I got out with no trouble. I made it back to the RV and still no one was awake. Just as I was about to lay back down with Barry, people's alarms started going off and I was good-to-go!

After an interesting breakfast of fried egg, (prepared the way I normally eat eggs, but for some reason set off my gag reflex that morning) bacon and sausage, we started getting ready to make our way to the ri ver. Just like last year, I was ready to go and people were just moseying about! Take your freaking time! Finally, everyone was happy. We loaded up in the back of a pick up truck and started driving down a tiny road with lots of curves. We make it to White Water Sports without losing anyone out of the back of the truck and decide that we were going to float the horseshoe. I was confused... Apparently what I though was the horseshoe was not, in fact, the horseshoe. I was wrong. Regardless, we get our tubes, take the shuttle to our in point and start. The water...was so freaking cold! Apparently, the dam lets out right where we went in. Dams let out water from the bottom of the lake, not the top. COLD! But, we were good. I managed to actually drink the whole time we were on the river... a first for me. We had a blast floating down the river. I only got caught on two rocks where I had to get out of my tube to free myself. As we were exiting, I managed some how to 'fall slowly'. I don't know any other way to explain it. Thank goodness for yoga. It taught me that when in doubt, find your center first, then consider moving. It's ok to stand still. Thankfully, I made it through the river without falling (until the previously mentioned exit/slo-mo fall).

We returned to the camp for lunch and decided that, instead of floating again on the low river, we would just go down to the Devil's Playground (where I was that morning) and sit for the rest of the day. It was a fantastic feeling, cool water on your butt and hot sun on your shoulders. i had a great talk with some of the mothers in our group about giving birth. My mother had two C Sections so I can't really talk to her about my decision to have at least one natural birth. More drinking commenced until it was nightfall and we went back to camp where...you guessed it...more dr

inking. I was quite proud of myself, thinking that I had done well. I had successfully drank my fair share of beer and I was still standing. Accomplishment!



And then, out came the jello shots. Five jello shots later, I was sitting in Barry's fold out camping chair...with Barry still in it. I had my feet over one handle, my butt in his crotch and my shoulders and head over the other handle. And I was singing. Probably off key and loudly. Not that I can remember it that well. Around two in the morning I stumble into the RV, taking Barry with me and have him talk to me while I take a shower because I really just wanted to hear the sound of my own voice. I finally, with much difficulty, made it into bed.



I woke up three hours later.

Shivering on the inside but not on the outside (Interesting combination), I kept stretching my legs in the bed. I still can't figure out why but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I finally got out of bed around six and told Barry that I was going to try to go throw up. It's worked for me many times in the past and I expect this to be no problem. So, I go into the bathroom and attempt to throw up. Nothing. Not even spit. At this point I'm not really nauseous, just really restless. I get back into bed and try thirty minutes later. This time I get spit and bile and lots of coughing but I could tell that whatever was making me ill was still in me. Everyone started waking up and Angie compliments me on my quiet vomiting skills. I was doing ok.

Until the sausage biscuit.

All I can remember is that someone put a frozen sausage biscuit in the microwave and three seconds later I had launched myself over beds and still sleeping people to the picnic table outside. I stayed there for twenty minutes and just groaned. Valerie gave me some Pepto Bismal, in pill form, and I could barely get it down my throat. Everyone was fantastic. I hate being fussed over unless it is my mom or Barry and luckily everyone understood and just let me be. I finally climbed onto the top of the table and sprawled out in my pajamas for everyone in the Lazy L&L Campgrounds to see. A group of guys came to pick our trash up. I didn't even look at them.

Finally Barry came outside. I asked for a plastic bag so that if I threw up, at least it wasn't on the ground. He came back with a plastic bag and a piece of bread. I will not lie, I gave him the stink eye like you've never seen. I got it down, bit by bit and it stayed down while he took a shower. The minute he came back, bread came up. Pink bread. It would have been the coolest thing I had ever seen if it had not induced more vomiting.

Everyone finally filed out of the RV to head over to the San Marcos River for the day. They wished me the best of luck and left. For the next thirty minutes Barry and I played the "How Many Colors Can Maria Puke" game. We stayed outside so that we could let the sausage biscuit air filter out of the RV. I drank water. It came up clear. I drank red gatorade. It came up red. i drank blue gatorade it came out purple after being mixed with the little bit of red left in my stomach. The moment if finished with the purple I tasted the bitter pill taste in my mouth and I knew I was golden. The night before I had taken a double dose of Birth Control on an alcohol filled stomach with no food. I had forgotten to take my daily dose the day before, so I just doubled up like normal. Bad Idea. But, with the bitter pill taste in my mouth I knew that I could keep down some fluid so I drank a blue gatorade and immediately felt better. I drank some more water then went into the RV and slept for two hours while Barry watched "Tears of the Sun". By the time the movie was over, I was drinking water and eating beef jerky. We spent the rest of the day just hanging out in the RV. We watched "Get Smart" and "Charlie Wilson's War", then went down to the Devil's Playground for a while before walking back to camp. We were there for a little while... then everyone came back. They all asked me how I was, but didn't overdo it, for which I was thankful.

We ate dinner, played some Catch Phrase and that was pretty much the end of the night. I didn't drink at all, it didn't seem wise to push my luck. I went to bed early and we departed early Sunday morning.

All in all... it was a great trip.

Things I Learned:

1. Alternate alcohol with Gatorade and lots of water to keep dehydration down to a minimum.

2. Do not double dose on Birth Control without eating an adequate amount of food before hand.

3. Just throw up the night before. It makes the morning much more pleasurable.

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